“The devil wants you to feel guilty for believing God.”
– Bishop Jacqueline McCollough
Some time ago I spoke to God from a place in my heart that was hurting. Another innocent black person had been killed by a police officer. It was Philando Castile. People on social media were going off. Why did I watch that video? There were people venting, posting photos of other African Americans who were murdered by police officers, and others posted their own experiences with racism. People were enraged, scared, and hurt, to say the least. These were innocent people. My people.
There was no justice. Just slaps on the wrists and these officers were back to their regular lives.
I remember tears building in my eyes as I spoke to God. I asked him “why would you put me on this Earth that doesn’t love me, nor my people”. “Why would you put us here for this?” was a question in my mind for weeks. I questioned God, but I didn’t wait for an answer.
So, it’s been a while. Months actually. I’ve been going through the motions, but believe me this blog has been on my mind. Honestly, I didn’t even know where to start with my writing. It happens.
While I wait for a full post to form in my mind, or be placed on my heart, I’m going to tell you all where my thoughts have been and we’ll just go from there. Okay? Okay.
- I recently finished reading “Wild At Heart” by John Eldredge. This book is a must read for every man and woman. It’s for the male audience but I gained so much insight from that book which makes me believe it should be on every woman’s reading list. It helped me to understand men better. A lot of men are lost, living as a “false self”, broken, and have wounds on their heart that were inflicted by their father’s in one way or another. These things affect every aspect of their life from their sense of self, knowing their purpose, living that purpose, parenting, and marriage. The book steps on toes. Eldredge talks about how the church has tamed men in a way that God never designed them to be. He speaks about the fears and insecurities men live with, but hide by going after women or being focused on their careers. He even goes in on how the enemy continues to attack men, and soiritual warfare. The book is a gem. I’ll write about that book in detail later. It might take several posts.
- The book lead me to this: A majority of our men are broken. More than they are allowed to admit. More than they would like to admit.
- How do other black Christians deal with the history of Christianity and how it was forced upon people in Africa? There are a lot of “conscious” people who make valid points, others who are into metaphysics, others who are into other forms of spirituality. What does everyone else (you, if this applies) think of all of this? For me, my faith is personal and based on experience. But… the history of Christianity and how the Bible was used to oppress and abuse African people hurts.
- Is it just me, or is there not enough sermons on spiritual warfare? We don’t need feel good ministry. We need to be equipped, because we are under attack daily.
- More people need to be open to counseling and therapy. We have issues. Ways of behaving and thinking that are influenced by our experiences. We have faulty perceptions of people and the world around us. Family hurt, church hurt, trauma, societal problems. We need help, someone to talk to about it all.
These are basically the roots of the major thoughts I’ve been having. The posts that are to come will stem from these very ideas.
Be back in a few.